Top Tips to Keep the Season Merry, Bright – and Free from Solicitor's Letters
Let’s be honest – the only thing more complicated than untangling last year’s Christmas lights is trying to coordinate holiday plans when you’re a separated parent. You’ve got mince pies to bake, stockings to stuff, and – somewhere in between – child arrangements to agree.
In this article Kingsfords Solicitors Head of the Matrimonial Department, Shakeel Malik provides his guide to help you navigate the Christmas holiday season without needing a tiebreaker from a judge.
If you are effected by any of the issues in this blog or are considering separation or divorce and require advice, our experienced Team of Matrimonial Lawyers are on hand to assist you. To discuss how we can help, please contact your local Kingsfords office in Ashford, Cranbrook or Hythe. Alternatively, you can ‘Get-In Touch’ via our website enquiry icon, or by calling us on 01233 665544.
1. Plan Early – and Yes, We Mean Autumn
There’s a reason Santa starts preparing in July. Last-minute negotiations over who gets the kids on Christmas Eve rarely end with good cheer. Ideally, you’ll want to have a clear arrangement by October at the latest.
Whether you alternate Christmas Day each year, split the holidays, or find another arrangement that works, the golden rule is: get it in writing. A clear plan helps avoid crossed wires and hurt feelings – not to mention frantic phone calls to your solicitor on 23 December.
2. Flexibility – It’s a Gift You Can Give Each Other
Even the best-laid plans can go sideways. Maybe one parent’s family suddenly decides to host a once-in-a-decade reunion. Or the kids really, really want to see both parents open their presents.
A bit of flexibility can go a long way. If one parent has the children for most of Christmas this year, maybe the other gets New Year – or a few extra days before or after. Try to keep things balanced over time, and avoid scorekeeping.
Think of it like Secret Santa: give a little, get a little – and try not to re-gift resentment.
3. Communication – Use Your Words (Not Your Lawyer)
You don’t have to be best friends, but clear, civil communication is essential. Text messages, emails or a shared calendar app can keep things organised and reduce the chance of misunderstandings.
Avoid using the kids as messengers – it puts them in an awkward position and tends to muddy the message. Worse still, it can make them feel responsible for their parents’ conflict. No child should feel like they’re carrying Christmas on their shoulders.
If communication is tricky, there are parenting apps like “OurFamilyWizard” or “2houses” that help separated parents keep things on track.
“Communication tips for co-parents at Christmas” is a rising trend – make sure your messages don’t add to the stress.
4. Focus on the Kids – Not the Calendar
It’s easy to get hung up on the date itself. But for kids, Christmas is about time, not timing. Whether they open presents on the 25th or the 27th, what really matters is the quality of time they spend with each parent.
Make your celebrations special, whenever they fall. Have a ‘Second Christmas’ if necessary – turkey tastes just as good a couple of days later, and you’ll probably get better deals on crackers!
And remember, children are perceptive. If you can show respect for your co-parent and make the holidays feel joyful and stable, that’s a better gift than anything wrapped in shiny paper.
5. Don’t Be Afraid to Get Help (Before the Christmas Crisis Hits)
If discussions become strained or you can’t reach an agreement, speak to us sooner rather than later. Mediation is often a helpful and less adversarial way to resolve holiday arrangements, and courts can step in as a last resort.
At our firm, we regularly help separated parents draw up parenting agreements for Christmas and beyond. It’s not about taking sides – it’s about helping everyone find a solution that works for the children.
And yes, in all honesty we’d prefer you didn’t call us on Christmas Eve with an urgent application to switch Santa’s schedule!
Final Thoughts: Peace on Earth Starts with Peace at Home
Christmas is meant to be magical – not manic. With a bit of planning, cooperation, and kindness (plus a sprinkle of legal common sense), separated parents can make the holidays a time of warmth, not worry.
So pour a mulled wine, put on Love Actually, and raise a glass to modern family life. Complicated? Yes. Impossible? Not at all.
Need guidance tailored to your circumstances?
If any of the issues raised in this blog touch your life, please do contact Shakeel Malik and the Kingsfords Solicitors Family Law Team to help you navigate your way successfully through the Christmas period.
Contact one of our family law solicitors in Kent at our offices in Ashford, Cranbrook or Hythe today by calling 01233 624545, or fill in our enquiry form on the right hand side of the page to request a call back.